(Source: blackie7812)
On the weekend we were all sitting around and somehow using babies blood as lube came up in conversation, as it does. There was this girl who noone knew very well just silently listening to the whole conversation looking a bit awkward. After about 5 mins I was like “yeah so you cut off the head..” and she interrupts me and says “no you don’t, if you cut off the head you can only use it once”.
It was the funniest thing ever.
I will post a photo of myself and for every like this pot gets I will put 1cm of a cucumber up my vagina.
send me nudes!
Good to see that photo I put on here a few months ago has over 25,000 notes now. YOLO.
Does anyone else think this girl looks a LOT like Reece Mastin?
(via trulykevin)
Time won't save our souls: Remember the time Australia spent 170 million dollars on implementing... -
Remember the time Australia spent 170 million dollars on implementing its biggest ever security/ lock-down operation for APEC Sydney 2007 only to have it foiled by a comedy troupe who used fake security passes and a little Canadian flag to get “Osama bin Laden” within 10 metres of George W….
We think my brother went away with a girl and he said we could play 20 questions to figure out who he went with but he was allowed to be as cryptic as he wanted. And my dad straight away goes “Is it an animal, mineral or vegetable?”. That man knows how to play.
Then I asked if his friend like One Direction and Jodan said no. And my Dad was like “do they like anything that rhymes with direction?”.
People actually look like this? I think i vomited in my mouth a little bit.
(via cuteguyss)
[video]
[video]
“The Last Horror Movie” makes you think so much! He kills a woman in camera then is like:
“If you sold your TV, you could donate that money and save a child in Africa from dying. People say personal possessions don’t mean anything and that life is the most important thing. But you’re not going to sell your TV to donate the money are you? You like your TV. Now the woman I just killed, if given the choice to give up your TV to save her life, would you do it? If you said yes, why her and why not the child in Africa? And if you said no, what’s your problem with what i’m doing?”
MESSED WITH MY HEAD.
theaztecprince asked: It's funny because he just got kicked out LOL
hahaha I know, now I feel really bad.
How to write a facebook status like a retard.
Alternative:
“People cancel plans on me a lot. It sucks.”