February 2012
How to make a good impression in your first tute...
Come in 20 minutes late.
Be soaking wet and out of breath from running there in the rain.
Ask to borrow pen and paper.
I’m a genius.
Porn is only on my dashboard when I go on tumblr at uni.
Reblog if you love him, & you're thankful that he...
lemon-lime-embittered:
yourdickisnotproportionate:
jaysworld96:
i will reblog this every single time i see this on my dash.
THAT’S NOT EVEN JESUS! THAT’S SOME ACTOR!
As if that high quality colour photo isn’t of the real jesus, thousands of years before cameras were invented.
Jacinta: Do you want a paper?
Me: NO! Everytime single time I go to the football, I get a paper then realise I don't want it and I have to carry it home.
Man: Paper?
Me: Yeah alright, thanks...... FUCK.
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JD: Turk, am I needy?
Turk: No.
JD: Tell me one hundred times.
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thesexlessinnkeeper replied to your photo: Yeah hey, I would MUCH rather have my newsfeed…
… why are you friends with Chelc on Facebook anyway?!
Ahh i’m not! It came up in my little sidebar thing that someone liked it. I don’t even know who she is!
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World's saddest story →
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
FOLLOW this blog, get free ham =D
In year 9 I wrote a creative writing story just like this, about all the fruits making friends then dying. And my teacher thought it was the best thing EVER, and asked if she could keep it and submit it to all these places. She was a crackpot.
My dad literally just tried to get something out of the toaster with a fork while the power was on. I don’t understand how he’s lived for 58 years.
Me: I forgot my keys can you open the door in your room so I can get in?
Jodan: If you say please.
Me: Can you PLEASE open the door in your room?
Jodan: No, fuck off.
I have had 265 followers for longer than I can remember. Someone should either follow or unfollow me. :-)
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zaneface replied to your post: Do you know what’s worse than the movie “Scott Pilgrim VS The World”?
wrong
Oh sorry, there is one thing! Michael Cera’s acting career.
Do you know what's worse than the movie "Scott...
Nothing.
neneleakesweave:
wow those leggings really compliment the outline of your vagina
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Love drunk Jack!
folkstar:
Jack: “I’ll buy you a lemonade” Me: “I don’t drink lemonade” Jack: “I’ll buy you a sprite!”
Seen so many people lately saying others are stupid for dropping out of school. Just sayin’ my brother dropped out in year 10 and is now 20 with his own house and two cars…
I am being abused by a negro twitter user by the name of “PEACHEZ MINAJ” for stating that I think the illuminati is bullshit. Apparently “mayb 2 u but ppl have thier eyes open”. Well i’m convinced.
“I find it really attractive and appealing when you talk about being forever...”
– Noone
People who hate valentines day are absolute idiots. “Oh you should buy gifts for the person you love anyday”. Well yeah, this is just a way of celebrating your love. “Oi christmas is stupid, you should buy all your friends and family gifts everyday”. “Easter is stupid you should buy all your friends and family chocolate everyday”. “Birthdays are stupid,...
deadsleep:
Tumblr, the place where straight people get offended if you say Faggot and gay people laugh at it.
Just letting you all know that I like The Big Bang Theory. Feel free to unfollow.
If you ever feel like you’re wasting your life, just watch a documentary about the illuminati in the music industry, and you’ll feel much more important in comparison to the people who make up this shit.
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WatchHahahah, oh my god! Best troll ever.
operator: 911, please hold.
me: stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
murderer: ok
You know how people say you shouldn’t post jokes about dead celebrities out of respect for their family? Well I just checked, and nobody who is related to Whitney Houston is following me, so am I allowed to post a joke from twitter? Thanks! What was Whitney Houston’s last hit? A crack pipe.
