February 2012
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thesexlessinnkeeper replied to your photo: Yeah hey, I would MUCH rather have my newsfeed…
… why are you friends with Chelc on Facebook anyway?!
Ahh i’m not! It came up in my little sidebar thing that someone liked it. I don’t even know who she is!
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World's saddest story →
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
FOLLOW this blog, get free ham =D
In year 9 I wrote a creative writing story just like this, about all the fruits making friends then dying. And my teacher thought it was the best thing EVER, and asked if she could keep it and submit it to all these places. She was a crackpot.
My dad literally just tried to get something out of the toaster with a fork while the power was on. I don’t understand how he’s lived for 58 years.
Me: I forgot my keys can you open the door in your room so I can get in?
Jodan: If you say please.
Me: Can you PLEASE open the door in your room?
Jodan: No, fuck off.
I have had 265 followers for longer than I can remember. Someone should either follow or unfollow me. :-)
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zaneface replied to your post: Do you know what’s worse than the movie “Scott Pilgrim VS The World”?
wrong
Oh sorry, there is one thing! Michael Cera’s acting career.
Do you know what's worse than the movie "Scott...
Nothing.
neneleakesweave:
wow those leggings really compliment the outline of your vagina
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Love drunk Jack!
folkstar:
Jack: “I’ll buy you a lemonade” Me: “I don’t drink lemonade” Jack: “I’ll buy you a sprite!”
Seen so many people lately saying others are stupid for dropping out of school. Just sayin’ my brother dropped out in year 10 and is now 20 with his own house and two cars…
I am being abused by a negro twitter user by the name of “PEACHEZ MINAJ” for stating that I think the illuminati is bullshit. Apparently “mayb 2 u but ppl have thier eyes open”. Well i’m convinced.
I find it really attractive and appealing when you talk about being forever...
– Noone
People who hate valentines day are absolute idiots. “Oh you should buy gifts for the person you love anyday”. Well yeah, this is just a way of celebrating your love. “Oi christmas is stupid, you should buy all your friends and family gifts everyday”. “Easter is stupid you should buy all your friends and family chocolate everyday”. “Birthdays are stupid,...
deadsleep:
Tumblr, the place where straight people get offended if you say Faggot and gay people laugh at it.
Just letting you all know that I like The Big Bang Theory. Feel free to unfollow.
If you ever feel like you’re wasting your life, just watch a documentary about the illuminati in the music industry, and you’ll feel much more important in comparison to the people who make up this shit.
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Hahahah, oh my god! Best troll ever.
operator: 911, please hold.
me: stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
murderer: ok
You know how people say you shouldn’t post jokes about dead celebrities out of respect for their family? Well I just checked, and nobody who is related to Whitney Houston is following me, so am I allowed to post a joke from twitter? Thanks! What was Whitney Houston’s last hit? A crack pipe.
I need to clear something up. Guys who say they can’t get a girl because they’re a nice guy are idiots. There are one of two reasons that you can’t get a girl if you’re a nice guy. 1. You’re boring. There’s a thin line between nice and boring, and you’re over that line. You have nothing interesting to say ever. 2. You’re a whiney bitch who blames...
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oliviadehavillands:
you were hot until i saw that you had no chest hair
Freaks me out when guys have REALLY smooth skin, makes them look about 14!
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lemon-lime-embittered replied to your post: Why did you end up in hospital on your birthday??????
So you’ll be posting the story later right?
NO, I’M SICK OF THE STORY! It’s all over facebook if you look hard enough anyway.
Anonymous asked: Why did you end up in hospital on your birthday??????
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ihateyouallyourmomsawhore replied to your post: Guys think girls have too high standards, Girls…
you should run for prime minister
haha alrightt!! And the first thing i’ll do is order a massive group orgy.